Friday, December 2, 2011
Setia
takkan pernah aku melupa
takkan pernah aku berhenti mencinta
biarlah masa menentu segala
kerna kau telah kembali membuka hati
untuk aku kembali mencinta
biarpun aku bukan yg sempurna untukmu
aku pasti aku ikhlas mencintamu
walau apapun yang kau perlaku
takkan aku pernah berhenti setia menanti cintamu
aku sedar tindakanku bodoh
mengharap cinta darimu yang xkan pernah kembali mencintaku
masa penentu segala
penantian itu pedih
aku pasti berbaloi aku menantimu
dengan kesetiaan yg takkan berbelah bagi
masa terlalu berharga buatku
mungkin sampai masanya kau bisa menerimaku
aku tidak akan lagi ada di sisimu
kerna Dia telah dulu memanggilku
jangan ko sesali bila tiba saat itu
kerna akanku bawa cintaku bersamamu
kaulah insan terakhir yang aku cinta
tiada dua tiada tiga
Chairel Nairul
02/12/2011
2006hrs
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Koleksi Terakhir - intro
Sayup
takbir malam raya berlagu dari luar tingkap bilik wad Zam. Sejak seminggu dia
sudah menyinggah di Pusat Perubatan Subang Jaya tanpa ditemani sesiapa.
“Adakah ini raya terakhirku?” tanya
Zam pada dirinya.
Dalam
dia termangu memikirkan dirinya, terdengar pintu bilik diketuk. Perlahan daun
pintu terkuak dan muncul wajah yang
sering dirindukan.
“Asu, kami dah sampai! Mama ada
bekalkan rendang ayam, ketupat palas, nasi himpit dengan kuah kacang kegemaran
Asu. Sama macam arwah selalu masak dulu. Asu makan tau!” Kata Iwan, anak buah
yang paling rapat dengan Zam.
“Buat apa la korang susah-susah
bawak semua ni. Bukan Asu boleh makan pun. Kan dah sudah tertulis kat katil Asu
ni yang Asu kena puasa sebelum menjalani rawatan petang nanti,” jawabnya lemah.
“Ala Asu, jamah la sikit. Nanti Iwan
gi tanya jururawat yang kat luar tuh. Iwan ayat dia sikit sure dia bagi Asu
makan,” balas Iwan senyum melebar. Dia tahu Iwan risaukan keadaannya tetapi dia
cuba berlagak yang tiada apa yang terjadi pada dirinya.
“Asu, Mama kirim salam. Mama pesan
Asu jaga kesihatan Asu. Mak Long Sariah, Mak Long Mey dan Mama sangat risaukan.
Diaorang marah sebab Asu sakit macam ni pun masih taknak bagitau diaorang,”
tiba-tiba Nina bersuara, anak buah perempuan yang semakin hari semakin comel
pada pandangan matanya.
“Asu ok la. Asu kurang rehat jer ni
kot. Kan Asu selalu sibuk dengan keje Asu sekarang ni,” ujarnya sekadar mahu
menyedapkan hati anak buahnya itu.
Tidak
sampai lima minit selepas Iwan melangkah keluar, dia masuk ke bilik wad Zam
dengan muka mencuka. Dia tahu kenapa Iwan jadi macam tu. Pasti jururawat di
kaunter melarangnya memberi Zam kebenaran menjamah makanan kegemarannya.
“Asu, jururawat tu kata Asu tak
boleh makan apa-apa sampai lepas abis treatment Asu petang nanti,” Iwan
bersuara dengan nada kecewa. Terpapar di wajahnya riak kekecewaan dan hampa.
“Kenapa Asu tak boleh makan semua tu
abang? Kan selalu Asu masa raya tuh lah yang dia makan. Adik selalu temankan
Asu makan kalau kat rumah,” soal Adik, anak buah bongsunya. Dia terlalu mentah
untuk memahami apa yang sedang bapa saudaranya alami sekarang.
“Adik, Asu sakit sebab tuh dia tak
boleh nak makan sumer tuh. Adik gi duduk kat luar dengan kakak kejap ya. Abang
ada benda nak bincang dengan Asu ni pasal bisnes kitaorg,” jawab Iwan dengan
nada memujuk. Dengan wajah muram, adik-adiknya keluar meninggalkan mereka
berdua.
Iwan membetulkan duduknya. Kini dia
duduk betul-betul di sebelah Zam. Dari matanya Zam tahu yang Iwan inginkan
jawapan darinya soal penyakitnya. Tapi dia nekad selagi dia masih mampu dia
takkan bebankan siapa-siapa dengan masalahnya. Biarlah dia sendiri yang
menanggung semua sakitnya. Dah lama dia berperang dengan dirinya melawan
penyakitnya hinggakan pernah dia ke hospital sendirian dalam keadaan lemah hanya
kerana tak mahu menyusahkan adik-beradiknya. Itulah tekadnya sejak dia
mengetahui yang dirinya tidak lagi sihat sepertimana orang lain.
“Iwan, Asu nak tanya. Macamana
dengan Insanity Couture? Ada masalah ke kat pejabat? Macamana dengan collection
baru yang kita nak launch bulan depan? Semua dah siap ke?” soalnya pada Iwan.
Dalam keadaan yang begitu, jiwanya masih di pejabat. Insanity Couture yang
tertubuh kira-kira 2 tahun lalu kini semakin berkembang. Setiap kali pelancaran
koleksi baru, pasti akan habis tak sampai sebulan. Permintaan semakin tinggi
tapi prinsip perniagaannya, setiap koleksi hanya akan dikeluarkan 100 unit
sahaja. Ternyata percaturannya menjadi. Pernah sekali salah satu rekaan
Insanity Couture dijual dengan harga hampir RM 400.00 sehelai hanya kerana
keunikan rekaan mereka. Pembelinya dari Singapura yang juga peminat setia
rekaan mereka. Dia benar-benar bangga kerana Insanity Couture tertubuh hanya
kerana niatnya ingin membantu merealisasikan impian Iwan dan juga
memperbetulkan kesilapan yang pernah Iwan buat beberapa tahun lalu.
“Soal kat pejabat Asu jangan risau.
Semua dah siap tinggal tunggu masa untuk launching jer nanti. Kalau takda
masalah, launching kita akan buat dekat ruang legar utama Pavillion 20 September
nanti. Model sume dah ada, pasukan pereka kita pun keje siang malam nak jadikan
launching ni yang paling gempak Insanity Couture pernah buat. Asu nak tau,
untuk koleksi kali ni kita dah dapat pesanan dari Australia dengan UK. Semalam
diaorg datang office dan discuss pasal nak jadi pengedar ekslusif jenama kita
kat sana,”ujar Iwan seolah-olah memberi laporan padanya. “Tapi Asu kena janji
yang Asu akan datang masa launching tu,” sambung Iwan.
Zam
terdiam. Memang dia terlalu ingin bersama dengan anak-anak buahnya semasa majlis
tersebut tapi adakah masa akan menyebelahi dia? Hanya itu yang bermain di
fikirannya. Tanpa sedar menitis air matanya mengenangkan dia mungkin tidak
dapat bersama meraikan kejayaan perusahaan yang dimulakannya sendiri. Air mata
itu mengalir kerana dia bersyukur usahanya selama ini demi masa depan anak
buahnya terbayar dengan kejayaan Iwan menjadi usahawan muda yang disegani malah
pernah menerima Anugerah Belia Negara tahun lalu sekaligus menjadi penerima
anugerah termuda dalam sejarah.
“Asu, Iwan nak tau. Apa sebenarnya
sakit Asu ni? Dari dulu lagi kita kongsi semua suka duka kita sampailah kita
berjaya bina Insanity Couture menjadi jenama terkemuka tapi kenapa Asu sorokkan
penyakit Asu dari Iwan? Dah lama Iwan syak yang Asu ada rahsiakan sesuatu dari kitaorang
tapi Iwan tak pernah tanya. Kali ni Iwan mintak sangat-sangat Asu terus terang
dengan Iwan. Tolong ya Asu…Iwan merayu dengan Asu,” Iwan bersuara lagi kali ini
diiringi dengan genangan air mata. “Iwan sayangkan Asu. Atas jasa Asu lah Iwan
Berjaya. Kalau tidak Iwan tak tahu apa akan jadi dengan Iwan,” kali ini dengan
suara sebak yang mampu membuat sesiapa yang berada bersama mereka turut
menangis.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
pre and post outstation....
hye guys...
it has been almost 1 mth i havent write anything here.....to pack with work and tutoring and other thing..
kenapa aku tetiba ilang dr dunia bogging ni eh? sbb keje aku mcm gila....boss aku suka2 nak soh g sana sini ikut suka dia...she is like damn crazy woman...1st kne pergi outstation kat Kuala Lipis tp last minute cancel..dah masuk karak highway kne pusing balik. stupid rite?
then pergi bagan serai tp last minute cancel jugak..kne g cover APSH counselor plak that weekend (kononnya)...last2 smp 12 hb kne keje kat Ampang...habis sumer jadual tutoring aku berterabur...blk umah jap..trus kms brg sbb nak kne g Kuching - Sri Aman - Serian - Kuching for 12 days...12 tiring days with no rest at all...
touch down in Kuching after almost 2 hours flight, 2 cabs already waited us...+/- 200km journey waiting for us from Kuching to Sri Aman. It took us almost 4 hours to reach Sri Aman, a small town which were known as Simanggang before. Along the way I see beautiful scenery of greenery mountains...love to scenery so much...1 thing tht i can spot major difference between Peninsular Malaysia and Sarawak is no of small churches outnumbered musollahs @ surau...when we reached Sri Aman, the 1st thing we saw was a landmark of 2 pigeons (I think it is) in the town centre..just accross our hotel. it was like cowboy town to me. nothing to do after 2000hrs. though it sounds weird, I do like Sri Aman town. I can feel the freshness of its air, silent nights...good people....our final nite in Sri Aman we went to see BENAK or KING's TIDE in Sg BAtang Lupar....though it is not as big as i saw in Majalah 3 few years back, i do feel satisfied as I stood at the bank of one of 7 rivers in the world which have that kind of natural phenomena. Already plan to come here again for Pesta Benak 2012.
here are some of the Sri Aman town pictures.......
After 4 days in Sri Aman, we continue our journey down to Serian which took us 3 hours journey. A bit bigger and hectic town than Sri Aman, our accomdation was in Ranchan Recreational Park, about 3km from Serian town. Again I was fascinated the view...damn damn damn green. love it so much just 1 tiny lil prob. the chalets are located on hill side...really steep and high...lucky i carried my 65litres backpack so climbing was easy compared to my colleagues. the most challenging place to be with my condition......nothing much happen here except i have to sleep in the girls room (acting like security guard) coz their chalet was on the highest point of the place and a bit far from other chalets including guy's chalet....major prob in Ranchan was halal food. one 1 restaurant there and it is serving pork....so daily one of us must go the Serian town and tapau food for everyboy..yet another interesting thing happen.
that cafe was called Sri JAti and we ate there when we 1st reached Serian....the food was not bad (compared to Sri Aman;s hawker food). so every single day we tapau our food from that cafe / stall. on the 4th day of our stay in Serian, the owner came for presentation and he is not Muslim...i'm not saying that the food are dirty or what but juz have uneasy feeling wheater the chicken are properly slaughtered and other issues.... lucky when we find out about it it was our last day there. so that nite we went out in a group to find food from other stall. this time we ask the owner / worker 1st whether they are Muslim or not...
here are some of Ranchan's pix :
final 4 days was in Kuching.....hmm..nothing much to tell about this place.as i dun have much time for sightseeing...only i contacted sumone that i know to ask her to hang out but she gave millions of reasons...to hell with her then.....a day before depart back to KL, i have to rest alone in the hotel room...my disease attacked me like hell...maybe bcoz of stair climbing in Serian and 11 days of no rest .... laid down almst all days...with no medication....
post Kuching trip : 2 days am resting at home with half of my body in pain and chest pain....has been taking 4 dosages of Morphine to reduce the pain but still no effect....sigh.....tomorrow will be going to Kuala Kangsar....3 days there for work also....dunno when can i start back my classes as nex mth we'll depart to Bintulu and Miri.....for another 2 weeks....really miss my students...
though am damn busy with life i never forget her. she always with me wherever i go....my love towards her will never change a bit....juz hope that she will accept me as who I am and can accept my hectic life ....
love u syg...really love u no matter what happened before....
*tetiba jiwang plak dah...hehehhe.....so itu jer la citer aku...mmb citer sal keje jer la...xder citer lain dah....
it has been almost 1 mth i havent write anything here.....to pack with work and tutoring and other thing..
kenapa aku tetiba ilang dr dunia bogging ni eh? sbb keje aku mcm gila....boss aku suka2 nak soh g sana sini ikut suka dia...she is like damn crazy woman...1st kne pergi outstation kat Kuala Lipis tp last minute cancel..dah masuk karak highway kne pusing balik. stupid rite?
then pergi bagan serai tp last minute cancel jugak..kne g cover APSH counselor plak that weekend (kononnya)...last2 smp 12 hb kne keje kat Ampang...habis sumer jadual tutoring aku berterabur...blk umah jap..trus kms brg sbb nak kne g Kuching - Sri Aman - Serian - Kuching for 12 days...12 tiring days with no rest at all...
touch down in Kuching after almost 2 hours flight, 2 cabs already waited us...+/- 200km journey waiting for us from Kuching to Sri Aman. It took us almost 4 hours to reach Sri Aman, a small town which were known as Simanggang before. Along the way I see beautiful scenery of greenery mountains...love to scenery so much...1 thing tht i can spot major difference between Peninsular Malaysia and Sarawak is no of small churches outnumbered musollahs @ surau...when we reached Sri Aman, the 1st thing we saw was a landmark of 2 pigeons (I think it is) in the town centre..just accross our hotel. it was like cowboy town to me. nothing to do after 2000hrs. though it sounds weird, I do like Sri Aman town. I can feel the freshness of its air, silent nights...good people....our final nite in Sri Aman we went to see BENAK or KING's TIDE in Sg BAtang Lupar....though it is not as big as i saw in Majalah 3 few years back, i do feel satisfied as I stood at the bank of one of 7 rivers in the world which have that kind of natural phenomena. Already plan to come here again for Pesta Benak 2012.
here are some of the Sri Aman town pictures.......
After 4 days in Sri Aman, we continue our journey down to Serian which took us 3 hours journey. A bit bigger and hectic town than Sri Aman, our accomdation was in Ranchan Recreational Park, about 3km from Serian town. Again I was fascinated the view...damn damn damn green. love it so much just 1 tiny lil prob. the chalets are located on hill side...really steep and high...lucky i carried my 65litres backpack so climbing was easy compared to my colleagues. the most challenging place to be with my condition......nothing much happen here except i have to sleep in the girls room (acting like security guard) coz their chalet was on the highest point of the place and a bit far from other chalets including guy's chalet....major prob in Ranchan was halal food. one 1 restaurant there and it is serving pork....so daily one of us must go the Serian town and tapau food for everyboy..yet another interesting thing happen.
that cafe was called Sri JAti and we ate there when we 1st reached Serian....the food was not bad (compared to Sri Aman;s hawker food). so every single day we tapau our food from that cafe / stall. on the 4th day of our stay in Serian, the owner came for presentation and he is not Muslim...i'm not saying that the food are dirty or what but juz have uneasy feeling wheater the chicken are properly slaughtered and other issues.... lucky when we find out about it it was our last day there. so that nite we went out in a group to find food from other stall. this time we ask the owner / worker 1st whether they are Muslim or not...
here are some of Ranchan's pix :
final 4 days was in Kuching.....hmm..nothing much to tell about this place.as i dun have much time for sightseeing...only i contacted sumone that i know to ask her to hang out but she gave millions of reasons...to hell with her then.....a day before depart back to KL, i have to rest alone in the hotel room...my disease attacked me like hell...maybe bcoz of stair climbing in Serian and 11 days of no rest .... laid down almst all days...with no medication....
post Kuching trip : 2 days am resting at home with half of my body in pain and chest pain....has been taking 4 dosages of Morphine to reduce the pain but still no effect....sigh.....tomorrow will be going to Kuala Kangsar....3 days there for work also....dunno when can i start back my classes as nex mth we'll depart to Bintulu and Miri.....for another 2 weeks....really miss my students...
though am damn busy with life i never forget her. she always with me wherever i go....my love towards her will never change a bit....juz hope that she will accept me as who I am and can accept my hectic life ....
love u syg...really love u no matter what happened before....
*tetiba jiwang plak dah...hehehhe.....so itu jer la citer aku...mmb citer sal keje jer la...xder citer lain dah....
Thursday, September 29, 2011
hectic life
hye guys....
life is very very busy nowadays rushed here and there, from home to office to tutoring and home again...leave home early in the morning and arrive home again late at nite...but I do enjoy my life...don't have much time to think bout other thing than to finish my day fast and get enuff rest to start new day tomorrow...
though am damn bz now but I do have time to think bout people around me and my LOVE...can they accept me not having much time for them...hope they understand my situation...
and this life has lead me to be better than ever...relationship only based on trust and love not other things ie sexual intercourse or whatever...this will lead to better relationship for as both accept each other for who we are and not temp satisfaction again ie sexual intercourse...alhamdulillah coz He showed my the path to be good servant to Him...
no matter how bz I am but in my mind MY LOVE is always there....how shes doing....what is she doing now...hos is her study..and many2 thnigs about her...she may not knw how important she is in my life but let it be my secret. never tell her all this and she may assume i dun care bout her. i know hw she look at me..a total loser with nothing to offer accept love but am pushing myself hard to change my life...she desnt know how hard for me to do all this with my present situation till when i went for my normal follow up with my medical consultant a.k.a my BFF (hehehehehe) he scolded me coz i push myself too hard now...but i have to do what i have to do....to prove to her that am seriously in love with her....i will never giv up to win her heart though it'll take my whole life...
this weekend i suppose to go to Bagan Serai for roadshow but it was cancelled last minute...based on how my boss work...i cant be comfy yet as she might ask us go there last minute....it is a good chance for me to achieve my sales target for nex month....and later nex month will be in Kuching for almost 2 weeks...sigh...i really need to rest now but i cant...too many things to catch up till i achieve all my target before year end...
but even am stuck with my current job schedule i still continue tutoring coz my students are really really important to me...their success in my priority even they might not remember me aft this...it is my obligation to giv them the best so that they will be the best students in their school....tired? not a prob coz i really love them...i did tell some of them i might drop a few subjects but they want me to teach them no matter what...one of them told me she never got a teacher like me....alhamdulillah again He gave a natural talent to be a teacher and guide to my students...they not only refer their study prob to me but also their personal prob...alhamdulillah again i always have time to be by their side when ever they need me....
thts all for now...am too tired today.....will see u again nex time....
nite...
* to my LOVE...i will never giv up to win ur heart no matter what it takes......:)
life is very very busy nowadays rushed here and there, from home to office to tutoring and home again...leave home early in the morning and arrive home again late at nite...but I do enjoy my life...don't have much time to think bout other thing than to finish my day fast and get enuff rest to start new day tomorrow...
though am damn bz now but I do have time to think bout people around me and my LOVE...can they accept me not having much time for them...hope they understand my situation...
and this life has lead me to be better than ever...relationship only based on trust and love not other things ie sexual intercourse or whatever...this will lead to better relationship for as both accept each other for who we are and not temp satisfaction again ie sexual intercourse...alhamdulillah coz He showed my the path to be good servant to Him...
no matter how bz I am but in my mind MY LOVE is always there....how shes doing....what is she doing now...hos is her study..and many2 thnigs about her...she may not knw how important she is in my life but let it be my secret. never tell her all this and she may assume i dun care bout her. i know hw she look at me..a total loser with nothing to offer accept love but am pushing myself hard to change my life...she desnt know how hard for me to do all this with my present situation till when i went for my normal follow up with my medical consultant a.k.a my BFF (hehehehehe) he scolded me coz i push myself too hard now...but i have to do what i have to do....to prove to her that am seriously in love with her....i will never giv up to win her heart though it'll take my whole life...
this weekend i suppose to go to Bagan Serai for roadshow but it was cancelled last minute...based on how my boss work...i cant be comfy yet as she might ask us go there last minute....it is a good chance for me to achieve my sales target for nex month....and later nex month will be in Kuching for almost 2 weeks...sigh...i really need to rest now but i cant...too many things to catch up till i achieve all my target before year end...
but even am stuck with my current job schedule i still continue tutoring coz my students are really really important to me...their success in my priority even they might not remember me aft this...it is my obligation to giv them the best so that they will be the best students in their school....tired? not a prob coz i really love them...i did tell some of them i might drop a few subjects but they want me to teach them no matter what...one of them told me she never got a teacher like me....alhamdulillah again He gave a natural talent to be a teacher and guide to my students...they not only refer their study prob to me but also their personal prob...alhamdulillah again i always have time to be by their side when ever they need me....
thts all for now...am too tired today.....will see u again nex time....
nite...
* to my LOVE...i will never giv up to win ur heart no matter what it takes......:)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
bz...bz...bz
today was like the longest day in my life...
started my day not too early...head str8 to office and do nothing actually...no cust at all today....juz refresh what ever I need to do to present the product offered by the mgmt.....
645 pm - reached tuition centre to continue tutoring which I really enjoy it...class end at 1030pm. take time aft class to hang out with my beloved students and friends....we talked a lot about on to make the centre better from any other tuition centre......shared about students behaviour....and many more...
for me though now I have like no time for myself...but I enjoyed my life...what ever happen few months back has showed me new perspective of life....life is not about urself only...there are others that u need to consider also...and what action that u take might effect them...but again humans are now more inhuman than non human being.... selfishness is a norm....material is a must to build relationship, friendship and anything that ends with -ship...good looks is a must also....but people always forget that smaller things and hidden things are much better to be appreciated rather than all those things that will fade away with time or can be pull back by Allah if u misuse the nikmat that He gave to us...
appreciate people around you before they leave....and NEVER EVER regret what u have done to them if they are not around anymore....Allah gave us life not only to think bout ourselves but also u have to consider about people in your daily life circle...u may not be able to help them financially or in material way but by giving them moral support, be by their side when they are in need, lend ur ears when they need sumone to listen, lend ur shoulder when they need a place to cry on....that they will appreciate more....and they will remember you till their last breath....
alhamdulillah...after what happen also i feel like i got super strength to continue my life though as cronic cancer patient, i can fall ill anytime...but tht will never stop me from doing things that i shld do...
nothing much to share today juz i want to remind myself and all of u....xpernah salah kalau kita pilih hidup utk jd lilin...korbankan diri utk terangi hidup org lain sbb in the end...u'll find indescribably satisfaction with ur sacrifice....
thts all folks.....have a good rest....always remember we are not born to live our life only...but for others also...cheers..!
started my day not too early...head str8 to office and do nothing actually...no cust at all today....juz refresh what ever I need to do to present the product offered by the mgmt.....
645 pm - reached tuition centre to continue tutoring which I really enjoy it...class end at 1030pm. take time aft class to hang out with my beloved students and friends....we talked a lot about on to make the centre better from any other tuition centre......shared about students behaviour....and many more...
for me though now I have like no time for myself...but I enjoyed my life...what ever happen few months back has showed me new perspective of life....life is not about urself only...there are others that u need to consider also...and what action that u take might effect them...but again humans are now more inhuman than non human being.... selfishness is a norm....material is a must to build relationship, friendship and anything that ends with -ship...good looks is a must also....but people always forget that smaller things and hidden things are much better to be appreciated rather than all those things that will fade away with time or can be pull back by Allah if u misuse the nikmat that He gave to us...
appreciate people around you before they leave....and NEVER EVER regret what u have done to them if they are not around anymore....Allah gave us life not only to think bout ourselves but also u have to consider about people in your daily life circle...u may not be able to help them financially or in material way but by giving them moral support, be by their side when they are in need, lend ur ears when they need sumone to listen, lend ur shoulder when they need a place to cry on....that they will appreciate more....and they will remember you till their last breath....
alhamdulillah...after what happen also i feel like i got super strength to continue my life though as cronic cancer patient, i can fall ill anytime...but tht will never stop me from doing things that i shld do...
nothing much to share today juz i want to remind myself and all of u....xpernah salah kalau kita pilih hidup utk jd lilin...korbankan diri utk terangi hidup org lain sbb in the end...u'll find indescribably satisfaction with ur sacrifice....
thts all folks.....have a good rest....always remember we are not born to live our life only...but for others also...cheers..!
Monday, September 26, 2011
posting kedua utk tempoh 24 jam....
tetiba plak rasa rajin nk update lagi bloh utkkali ke2 dlm ms 24 jam....mood tgh ok...idea tgh mencurah kot..tu yg ringan je jari jemari aku ni nak menekan keyboard ni...
credit : Yuzi Yusof
i've been hearing peeps around me talking bout changing their life to be a better person but looking at what they are doing I dun think they will never change. Am not being judgmental but from my observation, my experience dealing with these kind of peeps...hard for them to change coz of few reasons...
1 @ i can say main reason they will never change is becoz they are still socializing with the same group of friends...dun take it wrongly, i dun mean that u have to leave ur old friends and make new friends if u want t change to be better than before...what i mean here is still be friends with them but keep ur distance coz these peeps will influence u to do things that u did before thus u will never change at all....create close relationship with those who can guide u to be better and keep ur distance from those u will drag u to be like before or even worse....once u r strong enuff to handle them, then only u can hang out with them but still keep it a certain limit....
2) its juz words...juz to comfy peeps around them....it is never comes from their heart they want to really change. nothing else i will elaborate on this matter....maybe it'll be too sensitive to certain peeps....but i believe u know what i mean....
being me, an emphatic type, i always be a place for people to talk bout their probs, stories, opinion and many more...i do enjoy it actually coz from there i can learn a lot about life and peeps around me. latest case, a fren of mine from my school years started to talk bout her personal prob to me...and...and...and when we were in school we never talk actually...but we were reconnected via social network and become quite close...can u guys imagine being in the same school for years (and the most important part..never talk to each other), separated for more than 10 years..but when we "reunited" in the social network...we shared a lot of thing togerher...and i really enjoy every moments of it...thts me...i can easily make friends with anybody...from small kids to the elderly people...love to listen to their stories...their daily schedule, their past and they even share their future plan with me...
i rather say the emphatic part of me is a gift...not only me but my siblings also have the same specialty...am proud of it bcoz not all can have this special characteristic in their selves...always there for peeps who needs my ears and shoulder to cry on...(wahh...sastera giler statement!) i really dun care even the person did hurt me before...for me being empathy is sumthing that i enjoy to do...and whatever stories they shared, when am alone esp before closing my eyes to end the day...i do some thinking...what the thing happen to them, why do they have to face that kind of things, and all sorts of question..in the end..i make a resolution that everybody will have their own life and probs along the way...and through those experiences peeps build their life....only 2 choices : being better person or being total jerk...it their choice. for me as long as they are my friend, even though they might hate me but it is my responsibility to open up their eyes and mind to see life in more positive way.....
now i remembered why am i so like enthusiast to update my humble blog....i watched some vlog a few minutes ago...looking at the vloggers...feels like wanna try to do it also but i dun think i can..am more to writing type of person to express what i feel than doing in in physical form....hmm...i should stick to normal blog...no way to vlogging...
my novel has been pending for quite sumtime...am stuck at the part where Achik has entered the plot...damn! need to finish it fast dude....too long pending..maybe when its finish....i will not be around anymore.....
i love to write, i love to read.....thts me...ans thts how i learn a lot of things...
so long peeps...nite2...
i luv u syg.....:)
Sekiranya nak jadi baik, kita mengambil keputusan untuk menjadi baik, maka Insyaallah, Allah swt akan hantarkan orang yang baik untuk berkawan dengan kita..
credit : Yuzi Yusof
i've been hearing peeps around me talking bout changing their life to be a better person but looking at what they are doing I dun think they will never change. Am not being judgmental but from my observation, my experience dealing with these kind of peeps...hard for them to change coz of few reasons...
1 @ i can say main reason they will never change is becoz they are still socializing with the same group of friends...dun take it wrongly, i dun mean that u have to leave ur old friends and make new friends if u want t change to be better than before...what i mean here is still be friends with them but keep ur distance coz these peeps will influence u to do things that u did before thus u will never change at all....create close relationship with those who can guide u to be better and keep ur distance from those u will drag u to be like before or even worse....once u r strong enuff to handle them, then only u can hang out with them but still keep it a certain limit....
2) its juz words...juz to comfy peeps around them....it is never comes from their heart they want to really change. nothing else i will elaborate on this matter....maybe it'll be too sensitive to certain peeps....but i believe u know what i mean....
being me, an emphatic type, i always be a place for people to talk bout their probs, stories, opinion and many more...i do enjoy it actually coz from there i can learn a lot about life and peeps around me. latest case, a fren of mine from my school years started to talk bout her personal prob to me...and...and...and when we were in school we never talk actually...but we were reconnected via social network and become quite close...can u guys imagine being in the same school for years (and the most important part..never talk to each other), separated for more than 10 years..but when we "reunited" in the social network...we shared a lot of thing togerher...and i really enjoy every moments of it...thts me...i can easily make friends with anybody...from small kids to the elderly people...love to listen to their stories...their daily schedule, their past and they even share their future plan with me...
i rather say the emphatic part of me is a gift...not only me but my siblings also have the same specialty...am proud of it bcoz not all can have this special characteristic in their selves...always there for peeps who needs my ears and shoulder to cry on...(wahh...sastera giler statement!) i really dun care even the person did hurt me before...for me being empathy is sumthing that i enjoy to do...and whatever stories they shared, when am alone esp before closing my eyes to end the day...i do some thinking...what the thing happen to them, why do they have to face that kind of things, and all sorts of question..in the end..i make a resolution that everybody will have their own life and probs along the way...and through those experiences peeps build their life....only 2 choices : being better person or being total jerk...it their choice. for me as long as they are my friend, even though they might hate me but it is my responsibility to open up their eyes and mind to see life in more positive way.....
now i remembered why am i so like enthusiast to update my humble blog....i watched some vlog a few minutes ago...looking at the vloggers...feels like wanna try to do it also but i dun think i can..am more to writing type of person to express what i feel than doing in in physical form....hmm...i should stick to normal blog...no way to vlogging...
my novel has been pending for quite sumtime...am stuck at the part where Achik has entered the plot...damn! need to finish it fast dude....too long pending..maybe when its finish....i will not be around anymore.....
i love to write, i love to read.....thts me...ans thts how i learn a lot of things...
so long peeps...nite2...
i luv u syg.....:)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
postponed....deleted....words.....
hye....
today I supposed to undergo a surgery to clear off things in my lung but sadly due to unstable financial condition I have to postpone the procedure...this thing has bothered me for quite sometime but am taking steps to settle the prob....though i have to work day and night to stabilize back my financial situation i don't really care coz for me i need to be better for the sake of my family, friends, students and my love....everyr this coz for me theres nothing too much for me to handle anymore nothing will be ok after all the things happened to me before...it gave me strength and courage to fight for my life...thx to all who always look down on me. what all of u did, all ur words, all ur action has changed me to even stronger person than ever....really appreciate it...and alhamdulillah Allah always test me with all kind of tests coz He know am much more stronger person than anyone normal human being could see....really grateful to everything and everyone that HELPED me to be like what I am now....
maybe for some it is a small issue but for me deleting a friend that u know personally from ur friend list in any social network is the biggest humiliation to sumone u called friend. esp after all the betrayal, lies and hurts u did to that person which he/she have right to do the same to you but he/she never did that to you. again I just writing it down juz to share human attitude nowadays....no matter what u did to me...i will never give up on u...coz I never give up on things that I want so much....so it is not the end yet but a new start of a new game......
the reason that person did that is because what I posted in my social network wall....it is juz a few word of wisdom, life quotes and inspiring words that i love to read and would like to share with all my friends....i wonder if sumone who are much younger, less educated than u urself can take it as inspiring and life changing...why cant u be the same? i know u'll say not everybody have the same wavelength but in order to achieve perfection in life, always take the good part of others and incorporate it into u urself....that is how we learn about life.....and how we build our life... maybe to that person am juz plain normal guy with nothing to offer and to appreciate. thx for that kind judgement....coz i know I am special in my own way....am always special.......and u will never ever change that....
let me quote a token of appreciation sent by friends becoz of my wall postings....
- tauu sbb tu sy ckp klu kump semua post awk leh wat buku. somehow it really inspired methx Epal Ijau....:)
these few weeks i had great moments..enjoyed my life to almost the max even though am not as healthy as before. things happen for a reason and i take what ever happens to me as another step for me to be better person.
life will be really hectic after this...office jobs, tutoring, time for me family, time for my students, time for my friends, and time for myself....alhamdulillah.....what ever YOU did has make me better, know my limits in making friends, and the most important of all....know how to make friends....
that all i think for now....will update again later....going to take lunch, settling my medical bill prob, and later in the afternoon will have 3 hours of tutoring....
salam sayang dari aku utk semua teman2.....
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
what a bad day
sigh.....
i suppose to start work today but sadly i slipped when trying to go down my flat's staircase...like what happened before, i can't feel my left feet at that point of time....
ask a frenz favor to take me to hosp and been instructed to rest for few days. did call my BFF @ my specialist and he asked me to see him but fr now am not going. i know i'll be warded as usual and have to listen to his so called love speech.....*sigh again
what a day.....
i suppose to start work today but sadly i slipped when trying to go down my flat's staircase...like what happened before, i can't feel my left feet at that point of time....
ask a frenz favor to take me to hosp and been instructed to rest for few days. did call my BFF @ my specialist and he asked me to see him but fr now am not going. i know i'll be warded as usual and have to listen to his so called love speech.....*sigh again
what a day.....
Monday, September 5, 2011
kesakitan yg tak tertanggung...
sehari dua ni aku rs badan aku lemah sgt2...
esp left side of my body....nak kata penat aku xder bt per pun....cuma raya tu agak cbuk la ke sana sini...
tp aku dh dpt rehat cukup..medication pun aku ada amik....juz mcm xder perubahan....
org xkn dpt tgk aku in pain sb aku tpksa sorokkan dr sumer org bnd ni...xnk org risau lebih....
nt lain plak yg jadi....
aku kne survive utk DIA yg aku syg....
aku kne survive utk family aku
aku kne survive utk student2 aku
aku kne survive utk sahabat2 aku
aku kne survive utk impian aku
tapi aku tatau brapa lama lagi aku boleh tahan sumer ni....
tolonglah Ya Allah, aku memohon kepada Mu kurangkanlah deritaku....
terlalu byk yg harus aku perbuat skrg.....
aku punya masa depan yg perlu aku bina demi org2 yg aku sebut tadi....
esp left side of my body....nak kata penat aku xder bt per pun....cuma raya tu agak cbuk la ke sana sini...
tp aku dh dpt rehat cukup..medication pun aku ada amik....juz mcm xder perubahan....
org xkn dpt tgk aku in pain sb aku tpksa sorokkan dr sumer org bnd ni...xnk org risau lebih....
nt lain plak yg jadi....
aku kne survive utk DIA yg aku syg....
aku kne survive utk family aku
aku kne survive utk student2 aku
aku kne survive utk sahabat2 aku
aku kne survive utk impian aku
tapi aku tatau brapa lama lagi aku boleh tahan sumer ni....
tolonglah Ya Allah, aku memohon kepada Mu kurangkanlah deritaku....
terlalu byk yg harus aku perbuat skrg.....
aku punya masa depan yg perlu aku bina demi org2 yg aku sebut tadi....
Friday, September 2, 2011
Cinta hadir lagi tapi.........
Adakah benar seorang manusia bisa hidup tanpa cinta? Disini yg aku maksudkan adalah cinta kepada kekasih.
Aku pernah menolak cinta dari hadir dlm diriku. selepas apa yg terjadi sebelum ini, aku fobia utk menyayangi lg. ada org sering mengatakan aku tidak memahami apa yg dia pernah lalui tp pernah dia duduk ditpt aku dan melalui apa yg aku lalui?
aku lebih rela dirodok dgn pedang, dikelar hidup2 tetapi aku tak rela hati aku disakiti lagi dan lagi dan lagi. apabila matinya perasaan, itulah saat paling merugikan dlm hidup manusia.
kenapa aku menjadi manusia yg sukat utk mempercayai?
cinta pertamaku musnah dek kerana kecurangan dia bersama org yg mempertemukan kami di saat aku bekerja mencari rezeki.
cinta keduaku musnah dek kerana kealpaan si dia dgn kehidupan di kota raya
cinta ketiga ku musnah dek kerana kegoan si dia yg sering mempertahankan apa yg dia buat betul smpkan disahkan dijangkiti STD.
kemudian aku cuba untuk menerima cintta tp semuanya dimusnakah dgn penipuan dan kecurangan. kenapa bila mencinta mesti ada dusta?
aku sendiri skrg brperang dgn diriku untuk belaja mempercayai semula hinggakan aku jd tertekan. aku hilang kawalan diri kerana pergolakan dlm diri aku. tp aku pasti itu xder siapapun yg tahu. setiap hari saat aku buka mata, aku mahu mempercayai. aku mahu meyakini. tetapi aku cuma manusia biasa yg bisa kalah sebentar dlm perjuanganku dan aku tak pernah penat utk bgn kembali. tak pernah.
sekarang aku kembali menemukan cinta. cinta yg benar2 suci dr seseorg yg tulus hatinya. seseorg yg tak pernah malu menyatakan isi hatinya saban hari. aku bahagia. dan yg menjadi halangan ada kepercayaan. aku pernah percaya padanya. smpkan ada yg mengatakan aku terlalu bodoh utk percaya tp aku pertahankan diriku dan dia demi masa depan kami.
kemudian sesuatu terjadi yg meruntuhkan tembok kepercayaan itu. dia dah minta maaf. dia dah nyesal dgn apa yg dia bt. aku terlalu ingn mempercayainya. percayalah. tp peperangan dlm diri terlalu hebat. 1/2 dr diriku mengatakan percayailah dia kerana dia benar2 ikhals menyayangiku. 1/2 lg dariku mengatakan aku terlalu bodoh utk terus mempercayai. aku jd keliru. aku jadi kusut. aku hilang pertimbangan. aku seolah2 hilang segalanya dalam hidup.
aku cuma minta sedikit masa utk aku terima perubahan besar dlm hidup aku ni. 3 thn aku hidup tanpa perlu memikirkan hati org lain. aku boleh bt apa aku nak, aku boleh kata apa aku nk tp skng semua dah berubah. aku pun inginkan kebahagiaan mcm pasangan lain.
Nairulhizam Bin Mohamed Yunus,
ko bkn manusia lemah. ko bkn manusia yg mengalah pada keadaan. ko pernah jatuh tp bgn kembali ke tahap yg lebih tingi. kemudian ko jatuh kembali tapi setiap kali ko jatuh ko bgn dgn bangga dan menjadi lebih baik dr sblmnya.
skrg ko harus menang peperangan dlm diri ko utk kebahagiaan ko kelak. ko jgn tewas dgn diri ko. ko seorang pejuang yg terus bertahan demi masa depan ko sendiri.
ko adalah yg terbaik. ko selalu kata mcm tuh kan. ko jauh lbh baik dr org lain terutama yg pernah mempermainkan ko. pegang pd kata2 tuh sbb mmg dah terbukti ko adalah terbaik.
Aku pernah menolak cinta dari hadir dlm diriku. selepas apa yg terjadi sebelum ini, aku fobia utk menyayangi lg. ada org sering mengatakan aku tidak memahami apa yg dia pernah lalui tp pernah dia duduk ditpt aku dan melalui apa yg aku lalui?
aku lebih rela dirodok dgn pedang, dikelar hidup2 tetapi aku tak rela hati aku disakiti lagi dan lagi dan lagi. apabila matinya perasaan, itulah saat paling merugikan dlm hidup manusia.
kenapa aku menjadi manusia yg sukat utk mempercayai?
cinta pertamaku musnah dek kerana kecurangan dia bersama org yg mempertemukan kami di saat aku bekerja mencari rezeki.
cinta keduaku musnah dek kerana kealpaan si dia dgn kehidupan di kota raya
cinta ketiga ku musnah dek kerana kegoan si dia yg sering mempertahankan apa yg dia buat betul smpkan disahkan dijangkiti STD.
kemudian aku cuba untuk menerima cintta tp semuanya dimusnakah dgn penipuan dan kecurangan. kenapa bila mencinta mesti ada dusta?
aku sendiri skrg brperang dgn diriku untuk belaja mempercayai semula hinggakan aku jd tertekan. aku hilang kawalan diri kerana pergolakan dlm diri aku. tp aku pasti itu xder siapapun yg tahu. setiap hari saat aku buka mata, aku mahu mempercayai. aku mahu meyakini. tetapi aku cuma manusia biasa yg bisa kalah sebentar dlm perjuanganku dan aku tak pernah penat utk bgn kembali. tak pernah.
sekarang aku kembali menemukan cinta. cinta yg benar2 suci dr seseorg yg tulus hatinya. seseorg yg tak pernah malu menyatakan isi hatinya saban hari. aku bahagia. dan yg menjadi halangan ada kepercayaan. aku pernah percaya padanya. smpkan ada yg mengatakan aku terlalu bodoh utk percaya tp aku pertahankan diriku dan dia demi masa depan kami.
kemudian sesuatu terjadi yg meruntuhkan tembok kepercayaan itu. dia dah minta maaf. dia dah nyesal dgn apa yg dia bt. aku terlalu ingn mempercayainya. percayalah. tp peperangan dlm diri terlalu hebat. 1/2 dr diriku mengatakan percayailah dia kerana dia benar2 ikhals menyayangiku. 1/2 lg dariku mengatakan aku terlalu bodoh utk terus mempercayai. aku jd keliru. aku jadi kusut. aku hilang pertimbangan. aku seolah2 hilang segalanya dalam hidup.
aku cuma minta sedikit masa utk aku terima perubahan besar dlm hidup aku ni. 3 thn aku hidup tanpa perlu memikirkan hati org lain. aku boleh bt apa aku nak, aku boleh kata apa aku nk tp skng semua dah berubah. aku pun inginkan kebahagiaan mcm pasangan lain.
Nairulhizam Bin Mohamed Yunus,
ko bkn manusia lemah. ko bkn manusia yg mengalah pada keadaan. ko pernah jatuh tp bgn kembali ke tahap yg lebih tingi. kemudian ko jatuh kembali tapi setiap kali ko jatuh ko bgn dgn bangga dan menjadi lebih baik dr sblmnya.
skrg ko harus menang peperangan dlm diri ko utk kebahagiaan ko kelak. ko jgn tewas dgn diri ko. ko seorang pejuang yg terus bertahan demi masa depan ko sendiri.
ko adalah yg terbaik. ko selalu kata mcm tuh kan. ko jauh lbh baik dr org lain terutama yg pernah mempermainkan ko. pegang pd kata2 tuh sbb mmg dah terbukti ko adalah terbaik.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Ramadhan 1432 Hijri / 20 Ogos 2011
hmm....arini pun posting aku lbh pada flash back....2 peristiwa penting dlm hidup aku yg byk mengubah siapa aku..dan siapa yg baca blog aku ni mungkin akan memahami aku.....klau xnk paham pun xper..hak individu.......
Gregorian-Hijri Dates Converter
peristiwa pertama :
kalau aku convert tarikh dr Masihi ke Hijrah .. tarikh Hijrah ni amat bermakna utk aku....(sila lihat conversion yg aku bt yg aku dpt dr http://www.islamicfinder.org/dateConversion.php?mode=ger-hij&day=22&month=10&year=2005&date_result=1)
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You entered: 22 / 10 / 2005 The conversion result is: Saturday 19 RamaDHaan 1426 A.H. *There is a small probability of one day error. Inilah hasil nya....apa yg signifiken sgt tarikh 22 oktober 2005 dlm idop aku? tarikh tu la yg ubah keseluruhan hidup aku... tarikh di mana aku mula2 jmp dgn org yg aku selalu sebut2 dlm posting aku sblm ni... tarikh perkenalan dan pertemuan pertama aku dgn DakKEcik@Miko.... yes..i dated her during fasting month....i dun think it is wrong cz we do nothing. we jux we out for a iftar in KLCC and before that we juz spend some time in Jalan TAR and SOGO....nothing wrong rite.... tp bermula dr situlah indah kehidupan aku bermula....dia beri aku sinar baru dalam hidup selepas peristiwa yg aku akan sebut dalam fasal 2 posting aku ni...(uish...dah mcm perlembagaan negara plak ber fasal2...heheheheeh) bermula dari tarikh tu aku jmp kembali keceriaan aku, keyakinan aku dan kehidupan aku yg dulu aku lalui sorg2....aku dpt rasakan nikmat hidup punya pasangan...di jaga dan menjaga, di syg dan menyayang, di rajuk dan merajuk ( is there such word dirajuk?..hehehehe) dan mcm2 di dan me dlm kehidupan aku..dia bt aku ketawa hampir sepjg ms dgn telatah dia yg keanak2an tu.... smp kan kawan aku ckp aku ni terlalu menghargai org yg pernah hadir dlm hidup aku smp perkara2 kecik pun aku mampu igt dan simpan.....itulah aku...aku akan menghargai setiap org yg hadir dlm hidup aku..xkiralah seorang guru, sahabat, kawan, kekasih.....aku akan hargai diaorg....sb aku sendiri nak dihargai jadi xsalah aku menghargai org kan...... cukuplah citer sal bnd ni....aku rs cam kat dpn aku skng ada screen besar yg tayangkan semula apa yg terjadi 6 tahun lepas....cukup la tu...itu semua kenangan indah yg akan aku bawa smp aku mati... mst korang cam pelik knp aku selalu sgt bercerita hal ni.....mengagung2kan seorang insan yang kini dah xder pun dlm hdup aku..... meh sini aku nak jawab...sbb dialah yg beri aku bahagia biarpun bkn smp bila2....dan insan2 yg aku knl selepas dia maaf klau aku terlalu kasar TAK LAYAK untuk diingati smp ke tahap mcmana aku igt dia.... enuff citer bout her......fasal ke2 aku ni....mgkn korang xpernah tau la.....jrg sgt aku nak citer sbb aku msh trasa sedih smp skng...... fasal ke 2 : 22 Ogos 2005 aku jmp dgn adik angkat aku yg aku kenal through myspace...mmg xpernah jumpa dia b4 this eventhough dah slalu communicate...tiba2 pagi tuh dia sms aku katanya dia nak jmp aku...teringin nak jmp aku...so aku set la mlm tu aku jmp dia kat JJ Bukit Raja...tgu kat dpn Butik East India....nervous gak la nak jmp adik yg xpernah jumpa. so aku npk dia slow jln dr luar ke arah aku....bersalam dan sembang2 jap...kitaorg p mkn kat food curt JJ tu....then br grak blk umah sb katanya dia nak lpk kat umah aku mlm tuh..aku ikutkan jer wpun aku agak pelik dgn sikap dia ari tu.... so smp umah...aku bentangkan tpt tido utk dia....(dia ni laki yerk dan aku bt dia jd adik aku sb dia ada mslh xder keyakinan diri..so aku nak bantu dia). dr cara communicate dgn dia kat MS ngn text dia ni bkn org yg byk ckp....dia akan berckp perkara2 penting jerk....tp mlm tu dia extremely talkative. bercerita dr mula knp dia jd mcm dia skng....dan aku cuma mendengar luahan hati dia.... smp subuh jugak la dia bercerita kisah hidup dia dan confirm kitaorg xtido ms tuh...walhal esok aku kne keje ni tp aku xkisah...cuti tahunan aku byk lagi..aku leh jerk amik annual leave nt....lps azan subuh...dia kata dia nak balik sb dia kne keje....shift pagi...dia ni keje kat kilang kayaba kat Jln Banting tu...umur br 18 ms tuh...lpsan SPM yg xnk sambung belajar....aku mcm berat nk lps dia blk sbb dh 1 mlm xtido and dia plak naik moto jerk balik...risau gak kot2 dia ngantuk and jd per2 tp dia bertegas nak balik....aku xleh nk bt per....au hantar dia smp bwh dan aku tgu smp hlg bunyi moto dia br aku naik smula.... since that day i didn't get any news from him....he doesn;t even log in to his MS Account for about a week or so....i was like what happen to him....did i do say something that might hurt his feeling.....but i just live a usual....maybe he needs time for himself..that is what finally come to my mind.... 31 Ogos 2005 - lokasi - dpn kilang proses cordial kat sect 16, shah alam sbbkan cuti merdeka.....so arini aku merayau sakan la...smp la Sam sms aku kata nk ajak lpk saa kat mamak kat sect 16 tuh....otw nak smp dah umah sam, phone aku vibrate dlm poket aku..so aku stop dpn kilang tuh sb naik moto kan...so kne la berenti nk jawab call...aku tgk naik nama adik aku ni yg dah seminggu hilang....aku pun jawab dan excited sgt sb akhirnya dia call gak aku....tiba2 kat hujung talian tu aku dgr suara org yg dah berumur....tny aku kenal tak pemilik hp ni....aku pun jawab la aku kenal dan siapa dia....org tu pun bgtahu yang ni ayah pd tuan punya hp tu....aku dah mcm cuak...nak kne maki ke aku ni....tp kontrol lagi la... bila pakcik bgtau yg anak dia dah meninggal accident seminggu yg lepas...aku rs cam lembik lutut..aku tny lagi tarikh tepat bila dia accident....tarikh 23 Ogos 2005. lokasi flyover padang jawa. time dlm kul 6 pagi....lagi aku lemah. xsmp 5 minit dr umah aku tuh..dan arwah accident ms blk dr rumah aku....masya Allah....aku terkesima jap...aku tak terkata apapun.... abes conversation tu ... aku ttp proceed gi umah Sam tp dlm mood yang berbeza....aku jd mcm bodoh...bila Sam tny aku citer sumer tp xder setitik pun air mata kuar sb aku tatau apa aku rs time tu.... aku rasa ralat pun ada...rs bersalah pun ada..dan mcm2 rasa lagi lah....the next day aku gi rumah arwah dgn alamat yg pakcik bg....aku salam parents arwah....dan mulah cerita pasal arwah...parents dia teramat tenang...aku plak yg xleh nak stop nanges...sb aku rs bersalah...bila aku dpt tahu dia anak plg manja keluarga aku lagi la sedih...klau dia xjmp aku lm tu..xkn jd sumer ni...family dia xkan kehilangan dia....entahlah..... so sessi bertukar cerita....abes...rasminya aku jd anak angkat parents dia....smp skng aku msh ke sana...gi kubur arwah....tgk2kan parents dia....sb aku rs bertanggungjawab sgt dgn apa yg terjadi....in face sbb kes arwah aku amik cuti seminggu utk aku tenangkan diri...dan gmbr arwah masih aku smpn smp skng dlm wallet aku.....(tp aku dh lupa wallet aku tu p mana sbb aku tuka wallet) itulah salah 1 sbb knp aku appreciate sgt DakKecik@Miko..ms aku tgh dwn tu aku knl dia...dia berjaya tenangkan aku..bt aku terima hakikat yg bkn salah aku semua yg jadi tuh...dia selalu ada ngn aku sb dia xnk aku fikirkan sgt kejadian tu.... so itulah citer aku utk kali ni......ada yg happy dan ada yg sedih...(mengalir lagi airmata ni bila igtkan arwah....dia terlalu baik dan terlalu muda utk pergi menghadap Illahi....mula2 dulu aku pnh bertanya pd diri knp bukan aku yg Dia amik....arwah punya jalan hodup yg terlalu pjg lagi....knp tak biarkan dia rasa semua tuh..kecap kejayaan dan bantu parents dia.....tp semua tu dah takdir kan.....) apapun... salam mlm2 terakhir Ramadhan yerk......smoga amalan korg diberkati....as salam..... nite2 |
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tanggungjawab, Lari, Menyorok dan Takut
arini dlm aku dok berangan tatau nak bt per....aku terfikir 4 perkataan yg keramat.
TANGGUNGJAWAB
LARI
MENYOROK
TAKUT
apa yg signifiken sgt perkataan ni smp ada posting yg aku tulis khas menjelaskan perihal 4 kata ni...utk korang aku tatau tp utk aku....mmg ada signifikennya....meh sini aku jelaskan.....
TANGGUNGJAWAB
dlm setiap perilaku kita, tutur kata kita, kehidupan kita, segalanyalah kalau nk senang citer, bila hilang rasa tanggungjawab atas sesuatu yg tlah kita mulakan, (ini pendapat peribadi aku yerk..xder kaitan dgn org lain sama ada yg masih hidup atau yg tlah meninggal dunia) itulah org yg paling gagal menjadi manusia. kita dah mulakan sesuatu tp kita tak habiskan apa yg kita mulakan, di manakah kedudukan kita ms tu? pd aku bila aku dh mulakan sesuatu, aku akan tunaikan tanggungjawab tu biarpun aku terpaksa bersusah payah, mungkin juga memaksa diri berbuat sesuatu yg aku tak suka nak buat, menangis, sakit, dan mcm2 lagi. sekali kita dah amik satu2 hal tu jd sebahagian dari hidup kita, jagalah ia elok2....jadilah seorang manusia yg ada perikemanusiaan sb apa mungkin skng kita perlu pikul tanggungjawab atas apa yg telah kita mulakan dan 1 hari nanti bila kita memerlukan akan ada pulak datang seseorang yang akan memikul tanggungjawab itu membantu kita plak....so hidup takkan pernah lari dari tanggungjawab....berhadapanlah dengan tanggungjawab itu dan kita akan dpt merasa kepuasan yang tidak berbelah bagi.
LARI
kata ini berkait dengan kata yang saya huraikan kat atas ni (cuba tgk atas...bkn atas siling tp perenggan yang sblm ni..heheheheeh). stlh seseorg ni rs tak perlu dia bertanggungjawab so apa tindakan dia? lari ar dr semua tuh..kan senang....xyah nak serabut2 kepala nak fikir....bkn mslh aku pun...itu yg org camni akan fikir...dan dia akan terus hidup dlm hipokrasi sebegitu smp bila-bila pun hidup dia akan terus mcm tu. orang yg sering lari dari tanggungjawab aku tatau la nak kata per...mungkin dari segi pendidikan org tuh jauh lbh baik dr org lain tp dari segi kehidupan, dia lsg tatau apa2..yg dia tau diri dia jerk. yg penting dia lari tuh dia dpt lepaskan diri dari punca permasalahan dan seterusnya lari dari tanggungjawab atas sesuatau yang dia sendiri mulakan.
MENYOROK
bila dah xnk bertanggungjawab, bila dah ada rs nak lari dari tanggungjawab tu....yg plg sng nyorok ar. dgn harapan org takkan jmp dia dah la....malaysia ni kecik jerk....cyber world skng terlalu mudah nak di hack...so xkemana pun nak nyorok tuh. nak2 kalau duduk 1 bandar dgn org yg ko dah mulakan permasalahan tu. lmbt laun jmp gak....tp jgn la jmp dlm keadaan terkantoi mcm sblm ni lagi....lu tanggung ar sendiri apa akibatnya pastu....(mcm yang ko dah dpt la skng kan....ko rasakan ar....) ko nyorok kat mana pun...ALLAH sentiasa npk ko kat ner ar...sepandai2 tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga.....igt tuh eh.....
TAKUT
aku plg menyampah dgn org yg slalu guna perkataan ni. blm pun bt sesuatu dah takut. come on la dude...ko xnak mencuba ertinya ko lah manusia paling rugi...org yg gagal atasi rs takutnya...rugi gilar ah sumtimes things that u feared most is the most valuable things that u ever have...sb tuh jgn pernah tkt akan apa2 sbb bila kita berjaya atasi rs tuh...Allah jerk yg tahu perasaan tu mcmana...
aku pun dah xder idea dah nak tulis per.....kaki makin sakit.....so nak p berehat jap....maybe mlm ni pas class kuar kot p sumwhere....tgk la keadaan kesihatan camner dl....
apapun aku tahu kenapa org takleh terima aku...sbbnya mudah. coz am too strong for them. they cant overshadow me in any way...so the only way that they can do is to pull me down....and show that they can survive better than me..do i care coz as i posted in my fb wall posting
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apapun...selamat berbuka puasa semua......
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