Latest of Me

things has not been as i was before. too many things happened and till now i don't know what is my verdict. but 1 thing for sure, i'll start up my life again like before with new job and new place to stay. it's hard to live with somebody you called FAMILY. it is better for you to live on your own, go through everything on your own and face every single challenge without your so called FAMILY know. i had that life before where i live like i am all alone in this world. i do enjoy my life that time. all they THINK is i have beautiful life with millions of ringgit in my savings account. but have they ever ask me what i gone through but that time i don;t care as for me i choose to live like that where once i have made my choice i have to bear woth whatever consequences that'll come later. Alhamdulillah i manage to go thorough with my Fren For Life support. they are my FAMILY actually. not my own flesh and blood. they never hesitate to be with me at any time of the day. so do i. always trying to be with the one i care at any time of the day via various ways. if i can;t meet the up i'll call or SMS them. to be continued........

selepas 9 bln bersama......

salam...

dah lama gila aku tak coretkan apa2 kat dalam nih kan....mmg bz giler ngan new life skng. dah mula ada keje tetap semula, kena kejar sana sini bt keje nak ikut std apa company nak tp aku rasa aku lebih bahagia skng sbb aku ada DUIT yg masuk tetap dlm akaun tetiap bln walaupun tak byk mana pun. janji aku ada pendapatan sendiri dan tak nyusahkan sapa2....

nih nak bt flashback......

ogos 2008

13/08/08
tarikh yg mengubah perancangan kehidupan aku selamanya. aku korbankan kerjaya di sebuah bank tempatan demi cita2 nak jlnkan perniagaan sendiri. aku tak kisah sbb aku yg pilih jalan hidup macam tuh dan aku tau 1 hari nanti pengorbanan aku akan terbayar cuma aku tatau bila.

9bln selepas tarikh keramat
apa yg dirancang tak mendatangkan sedikit hasil pun. though i gone through sleepless nites doing my level best to gain some income but i still fail. aku tak pernah kisah sumer tuh tapi bila aku dipersalahkan dan ditekan sbb event sulong IS, aku mula rasa tak puas hati. 9 bln aku hidup tanpa pendapatan tetap tapi aku tak pernah bersungut berbanding org lain yg cuma bagi arahan..buat itu ini, yg claim ada network yg besar sana sini (sumer corp company lak tuh) tp cuma tau bercakap. hasil susah payah aku bt sumer benda mmg takde langsung dan bila ada masalah aku lak yg kena tanggung sumer. aku yg takder keje tetap masa tuh berbanding diaorg yg sumer ada keje tetap sikit pun takmau pikul tanggungjawab. sebaliknya aku yg dipersalahkan. sms aku tetiap ari tny bila nak byr sumer hutang, itu ini tanya....cuma aku nak tanya 1 soalan jerk, boleh ke korang byr balik sumer yg aku dah bazirkan 9 bln tuh? all my time, my effort, my hardness for the whole 9mths. can they pay me back all that? if they can then i'll pay them back what i owed.

16/08/09 (368 hari selepas tarikh keramat)
aku semakin selesa dengan apa yg aku bt skng. aku bersyukur dgn rezki yg Allah bg aku. tekanan yg aku dpt mmg byk mengajar aku tentang keperitan nak bina semula kehidupan aku yg hilang hampir setahun tuh. dan aku tgk apa yg org selalu bersungut kena keje smp mlm lah, kene keje ari sabtu lah, kena jadi bangla kat bumi sendiri lah dan sumer rungutan yg seolah2 tak bersyukur dgn apa yg Allah dah bagi kat dia.

aku tak tujukan pada sapa2 kata2 aku cuma sedikit luahan rasa yg dah lama aku simpan.

Malaysia Indonesia Disputes

salam...

again we'll talk bout politics and things happening around us.

last week news all over the world talk bout Manohara, a 17 y.o model from Indonesia ran away from Kelantan Palace. She claimed that she was the victim of abuse by Tengku Temenggung. She calimed that she was treated like sex slave and have razor cuts in parts of her body. She was forced to look happy when they attend functions that involves the royal family. They were married for only 8 months but her life was like in hell during that period. She manage to escape when the royal family went to Spore to do further check up for DYMM Sultan Kelantan.

But doesn't it awkards to have reporters waiting for her and her mom in their hotel? What did she really wants? If I may quote my chat history with my fren from Bali..."Manohara and her mom are s***s that needs tonnes and tonnes of money. When they think the target can;t offer them more, then they'll run away with good storylines to attract sympathy.

Ss for me it shouldn;t be a big issue it is just a family affiar. Why should you involve both governments in this? If you really don't want him anymore, just file for divorce and off you go. BY doing this, you might tarnish good realtionship between 2 neighbouring countries.

This week, there's a report saying that Malaysian Navy tresspassed Indonesian border in Ambalat. There were shooting as the new wrote. But as what i read from the Internet, Ambalat issue has been dragging problems to both countries for years. This incident was not the first time but this will not be the last as long as both parties still with its own ego.

Maybe for those who are not interested in world issues, Ambalat situated nearby Sipadan and Ligitan Island. Both countries has been disputing that Ambalat is theirs based on few historicals facts that they have (hope Malaysia side will not lost the important documents again as what we can see from Batu Putih Island which sided Spore due to lost of the really important documents). the MAIN reason both countries really wants Ambalat is because of its richness in oil and gas. If that island has nothing, do you guys think they want that island badly? Meetings were arranged from time to time, every year but still no solution. From Tun Dr Mahathir to Tun Abdullah and now Dato' Seri Najib, i really hope we can settle all the difference so that we can live in harmony in our beloved region.

i attach some of photos that i manage to get from gooogle.

and also history of ambalat based on a blog

http://hamirdin.blogspot.com/2009/05/ambalat-malaysia-mengelat.html

Renung2kanlah......every problem will have its solution. its just how we look at it.

a word of wisdom from the blogger boy series...

Salam...

Today as usual i do my usual things. same old thing over and over again.

Then me and iwan watched this movie....Journey To The Center Of The Earth. we already watched the movie last year @ sunway pyramid but it has interesting storyline so we downloaded it today. love the story as it bring a message that if you REALLY REALLY TRUST in what you are doing, you may achieve to a level that no one can imagine. never give up with whatever things happening along the way.

back to the title for today, when we watched Blogger Boy through catch up TV just now, there was a phrase when a drug pusher came to see empty room at the flat and they trying to say NO to him, they uses reason that Budi's bro gonna stay with them. then the drug pusher said......

"xper...baguslah pentingkan sedara mara. klau sedara taknak tlg sedara sendiri sapa lagi nak tolong"

i do remember sumbody told me..that i'm too obses with my nephews and niece. it's ot wrong rite? as long as i got satisfaction doing it....sumday i know that though they dun remember me for what i have done but i'll be satisfied to see they become better than who they are now. living in a broken family is not as easy as ppl see but when u manage to give them support they need, they will and i repeat they will better. time will show it.

dah ar. apa ar aku ngarut neh. tp kan...kan...kan.....i really recommend you guys to watch blogger boy series. for me its very fresh. very attractive. watch it ya...

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hard work...almost paid off

salam.

i'm backkkk!!!! hahahahahahahaha

these few days i'm so damn happy. happy coz all my hard work for the kids almost paid off. 2 days ago we got a mail from China who love the designs and planning to be our sole distributor in China but sadly due to few problems we fail to nail that deal but we still in contact as he always finding new suppliers every month.

then we got another e mail from Ghana wanting us to supply him a very big number of t shirts to them. now me are in the midst of negotiating with MATRADE and our supplier to make sure we will close this deal. and the best part is this Ghana counterpart will pay 80% in advance so we don;t have to spend a penny of our own money to sell the t shirts. once everything ok...it'll change everyone's view on the project itself.

rite now, i'm chatting with my fren from Bali. he also love the design and will try to get his fren who has a fashion boutique in Kuta to sell our t shirts there. he also gave me some of local indonesian internet on9 mall for us to try our luck there.

alhamdulillah, everything is getting better now.

but i'm still doing few proposals for IS. puncak niaga's proposal will be ready by this coming friday. 2 in total.

i never believe problems occurs is the end of everything. it's just a beginning of everything. me being silent doesn't means i'm running away. insya Allah we will close this deal ASAP and all the debts can be paid off. no worries. as what my sis say (shes in marketing industry also)..selling things ae easy if u have faith in it. esp when u r selling ur own products. ur trust will appear in your face, ur conversation and from there u can score sales. it is proven now.

thats all for now....will update u guys later.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

frustration.....

this the their dream. they have been talking bout it for weeks. they work hard for it. but now i personally failed to assist them to achieve their dream.

aft this their confidence towards me will be much lower. their self esteem that have just build will do down as low as how the economic situation is now. and i will not blame them if they back to their old life. and it'll all my fault. giving them false promises. giving them false hope.

as for me, aft this i will work harder so that they can sell their creation and be proud of it.....

no matter what it takes, how am i gonna get the money but i will find it. i will fullfil my promise to them and make them proud again........

i'm down but i won;t be here forever.....

salam...

at last, my tears dropped tonite. last time i cried when my mom passed away. and this time i drop it again.

whatever happens now i take it as challenge to myself where i will show to everybody that i will be successful 1 day. and my aim is by end of this year. starting january 2010, everybosy will look up on me again.

i may look useless now. people may think that i'm creating whatever trouble that they have now but by end of this year, everything will change. i know i can do it though i will have to sacrifice everything to achieve it.

hear me, i swear to GOD and to myself that i will never stop until i achieve whatever dreams i have now. i swear to GOD that i will do whatever it takes to ensure my projects will run. no matter how hard it'll be but i will do it. even i have to sacrifice my sleep time, meal time, social time, everything...as long as i can be whatever i want by year end. i will ensure that Insanity Couture will make its appreance and their design will be the best among the best among the best. people will talk bout their design here and there and at that point i can stand up and say...this is what i beleive in even though others dont believe in me or the kids, this is wthat i sacrificed for and now this is what we have achieve. i can walk and talk where nobody will ever say anything anymore.

this is my promise to myself. and just to let you all know, once i've make a promise i will make sure i will fullfil it no matter what.

kids i'm so sorry this sunday we can't make it but aft this i will find way to sell u guys design without anybody's help. its all bout me and u guys. we will show to them that we can do it. AND WE CAN TELL EVERYBODY THAT WHAT WE ACHIEVE TODAY IS SOLELY OUR EFFORT AS PEOPLE DUN HAVE FAITH ON US. BUT I DO AND I WILL ALWAYS DO.